Tanggal 24 Juni lalu, aku resign dari kantor yang sekarang dengan 2 weeks notice. Saat itu sudah ada tawaran dari kantor lain namun sayangnya hanya part-time 2-3 hari tergantung situasi. I hesitated with the offer. Di waktu yang bersamaan, I got a phone interview with one of the major retailer as QC Team Leader. Salah seorang eks-supplier yg aku kenal juga contacted me to offer a position. With all these offers in hand, I thought, “Yes, God is in control. He will provide.”
The phone interview went well dan mereka bilang akan invite aku untuk 1-on-1 interview on the same week. I was waiting and waiting, but I never heard from them. Two weeks later, they contacted me only to tell I was unsuccessful. The same news came from my ex supplier. They told me sorry the timing was not right, they did not have the budget for now. Later on I also found out kalau company yang pertama only wanted me to train someone to eventually step up. Jalan yang awalnya seolah terbuka lebar, sekarang menjadi seolah tertutup.
Aku marah dan bergumul dengan Tuhan untuk segala PHP (Pemberi Harapan Palsu) ini. I know He did not owe me an explanation, but why, God? Why? Dalam salah satu doaku, Tuhan hanya bilang, “Kamu yakin dengan pekerjaan itu? Kamu yakin mau turun posisi? Bukankah kamu sendiri yang bilang kalau Aku akan bawa kamu semakin naik, menjadi kepala dan bukan ekor?” Dia juga berkata “Kalau Aku mau kamu menjadi terang di tempat yang gelap, will you trust in me?”
Deep down in my heart, I knew God wanted me to stay in my current job. Yes it is tough and challenging, but challenge inilah yang sebenarnya membuat aku semakin bergantung sama Tuhan. I fully submitted my life to God and He opened the way. Kantorku yang sekarang ini akhirnya memberikan aku full time job and entrusted me with more projects. They wanted me to make some changes and to push through. It is not an easy process, but it is God’s process.
Aku sekarang belajar bahwa:
- Yes, God provides.
- Yes, God is in control.
- But on top of everything, God is enough. In the wilderness, even if I only have Him, He is enough.
You have been filled in Him, who is the head of all rule and authority (Col 2:10) (IVO)
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