People often joke that the strongest man on earth is a firstborn daughter. As one of them, I agree. I have two younger siblings, a sister and a brother.
When I was a kid, life as the eldest felt easy. I could boss my siblings around, be number one at everything, and my only “responsibility” was sharing my food, toys, and stationary. Simple.
But growing up changed everything. Being the firstborn comes with invisible weight. You can’t just live your life however you want. Expectations are higher. All eyes are on you. You’re supposed to be the example, the one who never messes up.
Twenty years ago, I left home to study overseas, thinking I’d finally be free. I wasn’t. Even from thousand of miles away, I’m still the one called in every crisis, the one mediating fights between my dad and my brother (who live under the same roof!), the one making tough decisions when others stays silent, the one paying the bills.
This week in particular, the burden has felt especially heavy. Something happened back home and, as always, I was the first one called to step in. But this time, I couldn’t respond right away, I had another urgent priority. My family wasn’t happy with my response, and that left me upset.
I’m upset because it feels like i’m always in charge of everyone and everything. And it’s exhausting. I get tired of being the strong one, the responsible one, the “hero”. Sometimes, my heart shouts, “Why me? Why not my brother or sister?”, even just for a moment, and let someone else carry it all.
Yet in the middle of my exhaustion and disappointment, I am reminded that I don’t carry this weight alone. God is my source of strength. His Word comforts me: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”(Matthew 11:28).
With Him, I can lay down my burdens. I don’t have to prove myself or hold everything together. He invites me to come just as I am, with my worries, my brokenness, my exhaustion, and in return, He gives me rest.
And this rest is not only physical, it is deeper than sleep. It’s the kind of rest that revives the soul and breathes hope back into weary hearts. I may be the firstborn daughter, but I am first and foremost a daughter of God, and in His hands, I am safe, I am seen, and I am carried.
Psalms 62:1-2
“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”
God Bless,
(AS)
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